Tis the season for engagements, baby announcements, and we added a new member to the family (puppy) posts. Scrolling down my facebook feed, I can’t help but smile and be happy for all the life changes I see friends going through. But what about those other friends who are in their season of singleness? Who are patiently waiting, trying to stay content in the midst of so much joy. Trying to remain happy for their sake, yet know deep down inside, they are being tormented by the questions that their family keeps asking them every holiday season.
You know those questions, that aren’t really anyone’s business, yet people seem to think it’s okay to ask, not realizing how painful it may be for someone who is struggling with being content in their season of singleness.
I know I discussed this before, but I remember the first time I was asked when I was getting a boyfriend. During the holidays it's the worst. The questions kept coming. How come I never dated? How come I never bring any boys around? When you going to start a family and give them grandbabies? I even got asked if I was gay. LAWD It was hard going through the holiday season being single to be honest, but I never rushed into a relationship just to have that void filled. And neither should you.
During my season of singleness I learned a few things that I would love to share with anyone who is experiencing the feelings I felt during my season.
- God’s timing is everything. I didn't let other people's opinions play a part of my love story. I just would smile and keep it moving trying to change the subject as quick as possible.
-You can’t force what God didn’t bring together.
-A man not after God’s own heart, shouldn’t be trying to chase after mine. I will not compromise my relationship with God for someone who is temporary.
-When I began to carry myself like royalty, like the queen that I was, I attract royalty. No explanation needed.
-I needed to spend as much time praying than wishing for a man to come into my life when I was never ready. God wasn’t done working through me. There’s was so much growth to take place.
-My season of singleness wasn’t in vain. God was preparing me for something far bigger/better than I could ever imagine.
-No matter the circumstances, I will learn how to be content. I will walk through faith, trusting that God will see me through, giving me the strength I needed.
-There’s nothing wrong with me. I was learning importance of patience and keeping my eyes fixed on God when I began to feel lonely.
-Being single did not mean that I was available to just anyone. My heart belonged to Jesus and if I couldn’t see Jesus radiate through them, it was a no go.
-Before loving someone else, I had to learn the importance of truly loving myself. Allowing my heart to heal from past relationships. Not bringing old bricks into a new relationship and expecting to build a new house with the same foundation and materials.
-I had to learn how to let go and move on, rather than dwelling on the hurt that I was caused. That God restores and comforts.
I had to remind myself that no relationship could ever make me satisfied like my relationship with God. He was the only one who never disappointed, never let me down, but always loved me through it all. He was the best decision I ever made & to this day I can say the same.
Through my obedience and faithfully trusting in His timing, God gave me my husband. I mean when I tell you I love this man so much, I really do, but he could never replace the love I have for my Father. My husband isn't perfect and isn't called to be my savior. He's my best friend I get to do life with. He's my biggest supporter, my better half, but by no means will he ever satisfy me like God does. And for that I am so thankful.
We are in this together, we make mistakes, we fail each other at times, but the most important thing is chasing after God together. My advice for those in the season of singleness, spend time growing closer to God. Be aware of those trying to cuff you because of their loneliness. Protect your heart by not putting yourself in a situation that can lead you astray. You got kingdom business you have to attend to. (Flips hair) Use this time to focus on yourself, being selfish, doing what you love. You deserve it. Cause let me tell you when you get married, selfishness has to be put aside.