Saturday, February 24, 2018

A letter to the girl who was tired

To the girl who was exhausted, burdened with this heaviness she couldn’t explain. Each day seemed to pass on by & each day, she felt herself drifting away. She could feel that something wasn’t right, that feeling of something missing, but she couldn’t figure it out. She loved hard, gave all that she had, would do anything for anyone, yet that was never enough. She struggled with feeling empty, like she had nothing to offer anything to this world. She tried her very best to be everything to everyone, not realizing that it was slowly causing her to forget to take care of herself. (Jeremiah 31:25)

Her heart grew so heavy, she wanted so badly to be loved, to feel a sense of belonging, because she felt the pain of not feeling like she was somebody. She longed for attention, the ability to be seen or heard by someone, anyone who was willing to hear her pour her heart out. That’s all she wanted. All she prayed for. She grew scared, frightened by the thoughts in her head that lead her to believe that she didn’t matter, that she wasn’t good enough, that she didn’t have purpose. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

All of these things that made her feel so broken on the inside, she believed these lies that were whispered so gently in her ears as she begin reciting them to herself as if they were truth. She began to replace  facts for fiction. As her heart lay exposed in pieces on the ground, she began to feel hopeless. This heaviness, that overwhelmed her spirit, pushed her close to the edge. (Matthew 11:28-29)

She just knew though, she couldn’t give up as much as her mind kept telling her to. She knew that if she just took a few more steps, she would see all her work and time invested, wasn’t in vain. All the late nights, tears shed, and passion that went into all she did, was not wasted. She learned that everyday she wasn't going to stay inspired, motivated, or even the energy to smile, she knew she could lean on God’s strength to carry her when she was at her weakest. (Isaiah 40:3)

She had to remind herself that she was human. That every idea wasn't going to be successful, that failure were lessons learned. She had to be gentle with herself. Give herself credit, because life isn't always easy. There will be deep dark valleys and high mountain moments that would come and go, and in each moment, she knew regardless her worthiness was still present. She was and will always be enough.

As she was able to regain her peace, she was finally able to understand the importance of taking time to rest + be still. Yes, this world will continue to tell her otherwise, that she needed to have her own business, create this or that in order for her to be considered successful, but she continued to keep her eyes fixed on God as He continued to show her the calling He placed over her life. That if she remained faithful, He would reward her with far more than this world could ever offer her. And that gave her the courage to keep going, keep trying, keep giving, but never stopping. That that in itself was enough. (Galatians 6:9)